broken for you.

i served communion to my peers tonight. before i did so, i shared a snippet of the tim keller quote that's been wrenching at my heart lately, and Jesus' words to his disciples from Matthew 26.

God will not leave me alone, you guys. he is just assaulting me lately. one thing he keeps showing me is how jealous his love is. this is something i've heard and even sung about, but not understood until now. c.s. lewis is helping me understand. i'm re-reading the four loves, a fantastic journey that will destroy everything you've ever thought about love - the friendly & familial, the earthly & celestial. lewis' words are so powerful, timeless, and accurate.

[God] says nothing about guarding against earthly loves for fear we might be hurt; He says something that cracks like a whip about trampling them all under foot the moment they hold us back from following Him. -c.s. lewis, the four loves

so to the lord's table i went, tonight, carrying my new knowledge of God's jealous, furious love for me - for us - and my growing understanding of how that same love was in Christ when he chose to take the penalty for my sin. my role tonight was to stand behind the table, though, and administer the elements to the twenty-somethings at the green room.

my mighty friend, matt romero, my brother of thunder, instilled in me the intimacy of communion. it always struck me that he'd look into each of our eyes as he handed us the bread and the cup. he'd say to me, "christine, this is the body of Christ, broken for you, and the blood of Christ, shed for you." he caught me off guard, initially. talking during communion, and calling me christine? but i came so accustomed to taking communion like this, so that even now, i'm uncomfortable with the distanced, detached tray passing we do in our services the first weekend of each month.

as young adults approached the communion table, i held the matzoh out. i locked eyes with those who would let me. i spoke the names i knew. and to everyone, i said, "the body of Christ, broken for you. the blood of Christ, shed for you."

as more and more people came back, i realized the truth of my own words, beyond the tradition. i have been coming to a place of comprehending that Jesus willfully let his body be broken for me. but as i looked into the eyes of young men and women i barely knew and didn't know at all, it sunk in that he died for them. alone. each one. nick, my pumpkin, who i would die for; and the young man in a knit cap and skinny jeans, who i've never seen before tonight. were there just one soul saved by Jesus' death, he would have done it. he would have delighted to sacrifice himself - for me, for the person i know, for the person i don't know. the body of Christ, broken for you. the blood of Christ, shed for you.


a few resources:
get a copy of The Four Loves here. just buy it. and start reading it.
start listening to tim keller's sermons on your iPod or at work. just do it.