dirt?bag

Today, my boss Adam challenged me that referring to someone as a d-bag on facebook was unwise. He said, “it looked like you might be saying d----bag instead of dirtbag. I think you ought to clarify.”

So, I just redid my personal goals. Let me show you – I’m going to straight up copy and paste – my governing values.

grace
integrity
humility
authenticity
generosity
flexibility
loyalty to primary relationships

I’m not going to lie, I’m a little bit embarrassed that “wisdom” or “discernment” are not on this list, but I promised I’d copy and paste directly, so there.

A few things that ARE on my list that were represented in my facebook status update are authenticity and loyalty. Here is my actual status update:

you guys don’t know this guy, but I do, and the briefest version of his history possible is that he has asked Lorie to dinner 12 times in 2010 and flaked on her 11 of those times. He has never treated her with respect, and in return, has not earned any. She’s stupid for liking him, and he’s a d-bag for treating her like that. In my book, you call a spade a spade.

And that’s what being real is. And when you’re real, you take a risk. You risk getting in trouble at work for your language. You risk being less respected if you show emotion. But you also risk building a bond with others – because someone else knows the pain of watching a friend let herself be treated like shit. I assume someone else does, anyway.

So Adam walked back to the office and I told him I’d thought about it and that this guy is both kinds of d-bag. He laughed and said, “you twentysomethings and your version of authenticity”. I think he’s suggesting that there’s a balance somewhere between articulately expressing myself and sharing my heart with the whole world (and the whole www). No. I don’t know exactly where that is yet.